Seeing the Truth About Who You've Been
An unexamined identity is an unexamined life.
A new identity can't be built on top of one that's never been honestly examined.
Most people have never audited their identity. Never sat down and asked: who do I actually believe I am? What stories am I telling? Which of those stories are helping and which are keeping me stuck?
The identity audit is the starting point. Without it, building happens on a foundation that's never been inspected.
The Audit
Internal descriptions. The words used in private thought are the truest indicators of identity. "I'm lazy." "I'm not good with money." "I'm not the kind of person who..." These are the statements running the behavior.
Deserving levels. The level of success, wealth, health, and relationship quality believed to be deserved creates an invisible ceiling. Anything above it gets unconsciously sabotaged because it doesn't match the identity.
Avoidance patterns. What's avoided reveals the identity's boundaries. Avoiding difficult conversations says something. Avoiding financial planning says something. Avoiding the gym says something. Every avoidance is an identity statement.
Performance gaps. Where is someone performing vs. being? The gap between performance and reality is where the identity work needs to happen.
The Bottom Line
What hasn't been seen can't be changed. The identity is audited. What's there is faced. And then — deliberately, for the first time — a decision is made about who to be.
Read the Identity pillar: On Killing the Old Story and Becoming Someone New
This article is one of eight Selfmade principles.
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